Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Email Signatures Explained



TiengAnhVui.Com

Originally from Buzzfeed, but cleaned up.



1. Thanks = Well done on reading this whole email.

2. Thanks! = Genuinely amazed you made it all the way through this.

3. Many thanks = Zero thanks.

4. Thank you = I am furious with you.

5. Thx = I think Zayn is my favourite member of 1D.

6. Regards = I really couldn’t care less.

7. Kind regards = I really couldn’t care less, but this is my way of appearing like I could.

8. KR = I couldn’t even be bothered to write the full words, that’s how kind my regards are.

9. Warm regards = If we ever meet I’ll probably try to smell your hair.

10. Warmest regards = your body hair.

11. Sincerely = Insincerely

12. Faithfully = The internet is the hub of all evil and I think the world’s problems would be solved if everyone just wrote handwritten letters.

13. Yours = There’s a picture of you on my pillow.

14. Cheers = Look at how normal I am!

15. Cheers mate = Look at how normal I am, now let’s get down the pub.

16. Ta = I am too busy to write whole words, so this noise shall suffice.

17. Bye = I hate you.

18. Goodbye = I hate everyone.

19. Best wishes = I have to write something here, and this will do.

20. Best = I’m thinking about what I’m going to have for lunch.

21. Very best = I know what I’m going to have for lunch now and I’m super psyched.

22. All the best = BURRITO MINUS 30 MINUTES!

23. [Your name] = I can spell my own name!

24. [Your initials] = I can’t quite spell my own name.

25. :) = This emoticon is happier than I could ever hope to be. Why does no one love me???

26. ;) = I totally would.

27. Laters = I have so much disdain for you that I just made up a word.

28. Looking forward to hearing from you = REPLY IMMEDIATELY.

29. x = I’m flirty.

30. xxx = I’m currently under investigation for an HR violation.

31. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx = I’m not allowed to use scissors.

32. Take it easy = You’ll never see me again.

33. See you soon = Oh god I hope not.

34. Talk soon = See above.

35. Sent from my iPhone = I HAVE AN iPHONE (and more money than sense).

36. Sent from my iPhone so please excuse typos = I HAVE AN iPHONE (and more money than sense, but I can't be bothered to check my mails before pressing SEND).

37. Love = So lonely.

38. Lots of love = So very, very lonely.

39. Write back = Write back, or the cat gets it.

40. TTYL = YSPNTTMABIACAS (You Should Probably Never Talk To Me Again Because I Am Clearly A Sociopath)

41. Take care = I hope you die.



Original Here: http://ift.tt/Qyhnbb




Đăng ký: Hoc tieng anh

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Hello Mother (Muddah), Hello Father (Faddah)



TiengAnhVui.Com





"Hello Muddah, Hello Fadduh (A Letter from Camp)" is a Grammy Award-winning novelty song by Allan Sherman and Lou Busch, based on letters of complaint Allan received from his son Robert while Robert attended Camp Champlain in Westport, New York.



The song is a parody that complains about the fictional "Camp Granada" and is set to the tune of Amilcare Ponchielli's "Dance of the Hours".



Hello muddah, hello faddah,

Here I am at Camp Granada.

Camp is very entertaining,

And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining!



I went hiking with Joe Spivey,

He developed poison ivy.

You remember Lennard Skinard?

He got ptomain poisoning last night after dinner!



All the counsellors hate the waiters,

And the lake has alligators!

And the head coach wants no sissies,

So he reads to us from something called 'Ulysses'.



No, I don't want this should scare ya,

But my bunkmate has malaria!

You remember Geoffrey Hardy,

They're about to organize a searching party!



Take me home, oh muddah, faddah!

Take me home, I hate Granada.

Don't leave me out in the forest,

Where I might get eaten by a bear!



Take me home, I promise I will not make noise,

Or mess the house with other boys.

Oh please don't make me stay;

I've been here one whole day!



Dearest faddah, darling muddah,

How's my precious little bruddah?

Let me come home if you miss me;

I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me!



Wait a minute; it stopped hailing.

Guys are swimming, guys are sailing.

Playing baseball, gee that's better.

Muddah, faddah, kindly disregard this letter!




Đăng ký: Hoc tieng anh

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Five Facts About Reading



TiengAnhVui.Com




  1. Reading can make you a better conversationalist.

  2. Neighbours will never complain that your book is too loud.

  3. Knowledge by osmosis has not yet been perfected: You'd better read.

  4. Books have stopped bullets: Reading might save your life.

  5. Dinosaurs didn't read - look what happened to them.







Đăng ký: Hoc tieng anh

Monday, February 24, 2014

Definitions of the sciences



TiengAnhVui.Com

If it's green or wiggles, it's biology.



If it stinks, it's chemistry.

If you can't touch it it's physics.

If it has faults, it's geology.



If it's incomprehensible, it's applied mathematics.



If you can make it do whatever you want, it's statistics.



If it doesn't make sense, it's economics or psychology.





Đăng ký: Hoc tieng anh

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Language Learning - Be careful (some swearing)



TiengAnhVui.Com

Take care when you learn a new language. No really, be careful, especially if you take my advice to, "Mimic famous people, play with the different accents in films etc."




http://ift.tt/1n4TJi1




Đăng ký: Hoc tieng anh

Thursday, January 16, 2014

The Common People - Parental Advisory - Some swearing



TiengAnhVui.Com

Too good not to share.







Đăng ký: Hoc tieng anh

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Thoughts About Christmas - (Some swearing)



TiengAnhVui.Com










Đăng ký: Hoc tieng anh

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Don't be obstinate...



TiengAnhVui.Com

Transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 04-01-1995.



American: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision."



Canadian: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision."



American: "This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."



Canadian: "No, I say again, you divert YOUR course."



American: "THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT'S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP."



Canadian: "This is a lighthouse. Your call."

















!Note - (Unfortunately this conversation never really took place, but I almost wish it had.)




Đăng ký: Hoc tieng anh

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